Some of my closest friends have not offered their opinions (either support or dissention) about my surgical decision.
I wonder if they fear my dropping them like a stone if they disagree with what I want to do. There is precedent for that, so I guess I understand it.
Still, it would be nice to know that they care one way or another.
You know, maybe this is why I have never been able to lose weight and keep it off in the past. My support network is just so small as to be non-existent. Online-only friends, anonymous forum posters/commenters, and friends I've met but who live so far away they are basically online friends now... always supportive, positive, caring. What is it about real life that negates my ability to rally support like that?
I haven't got much else to say... just that I'm still completely uncertain as to which surgerical option I would choose (although the band, as opposed to the bypass, is looking like the better option), and I can't wait for my first pre-op "class."
January 1, 2019: 187 Pounds... and a Plan
5 years ago
2 comments:
so, being one of your internet-only friends, i have felt reluctant to agree/disagree with your decision for surgery 1. because i think you're beautiful, and i don't think you need anything more than a little self-esteem and your own apartment (and yes, while i realize you had your own apartment in japan, you also lost in japan, and only seemed to gain extraordinary amounts when you came home) and 2. because i'm not a close/local friend, i don't feel i could properly support you, regardless of your decision (i am always willing to listen, if you need it, but i'm sure you have closer friends that you rely on for that, for the most part).
if you feel that surgery will help (your body and self), and it won't cost you a fortune (insurance will cover it), i say "go for it". however, i do think that, from what you've said, that a step (that i realize may be financially impossible at this point in time) in the right direction will be to get you in your own place (not that you don't love your parents, but i get the impression that it's more difficult to eat the way you'd prefer - healthier - when you're there).
but don't think being thinner will make you happier (it could, but it's not a forgone conclusion). you are beautiful (and look fabulous in a hat, which i never can pull off), and have one of the best smiles i've ever seen.
i know you're unhappy at your current weight, so if you're courting surgery with the intent for a life-long commitment, you're old enough (no comment on your specific age - heck, i'm kissing 40) to be able to do what's right for you without having to get permission (or approval) from anyone.
many hugs from me, no matter what you decide.
"What is it about real life that negates my ability to rally support like that?"
I know the feeling. I'm sorry I haven't commented on this, I haven't been on blogspot for more than a few minutes in forever. If you ever wanna talk about it though, I feel ya *HUGS* I don't generally have friends in person, most of my friends are online, because pretty much every friend I've ever had in person has backstabbed me in one way or another... so it makes it hard to trust people.
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