Imagine I am hanging out with my unemployed, verge of bankruptcy, multiple childrens' mouths to feed friend. She is drinking water out of a paper cup and wearing denim shorts from Wal-Mart and a holey collegiate sweatshirt from Goodwill.
I am wearing obviously new and well-constructed clothes, expensive-smelling perfume, carrying a brand name handbag, and drinking a six-dollar-latte in a sparkly reuseable tumbler.
And then, I proceed to bitch to my friend about how poor I am and how making ends meet this month is going to be tough.
"That's rude," you tell me.
Yes, yes it is.
Now think about how rude it is when people with ten or twenty or even thirty pounds to lose stand next to me and complain about being fat. If they see themselves as fat, then what am I? Dumbo? Jabba the Hutt? Rush Limbaugh (heaven forbid!)? (*This entire thing is null and void if we are both enganged in self-deprecating 'I'm fat' talk or if I have previously acknowledged your fat as my friend. In that case, WE are fat together. And that is fine.)
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely respect that people with fewer than fifty pounds to lose come up against the very same walls and obstacles as I do. I understand that it can be just as difficult to lose ten pounds as it can be to lose ninety. I am more than willing to work with friends on losing weight and being healthy. In fact, I enjoy having someone to work through all of this together and to counsel and to talk things out. It makes it easier.
I do NOT, however, enjoy skinny people (relative to me) calling themselves fat. For the love o' crap, think before you even open your mouth. And then think some more before you decide to talk.
More on perception?
* Sometimes, I pick up an article of clothing and think, "My GOD that's HUGE... that is just going to be hanging off of me." Then, I put it on and it barely fits. Perception lies.
* When I watched the newest Biggest Loser, the 500-pound guy didn't look all that exceptionally huge to me. In fact, I was reminded of a few family members. Now, to my non-American friends, on the other hand... Perception is cultural.
* When I look at a plate full of good, nutritious, savory food, I think, "Surely, I can eat every last bite of that." And I do. When I look at a dessert the size of my head, I think, "If I eat all of that sugar, I will be ill." And I am. A friend can't make it through half a burger or a chicken breast without gagging, but can gulp a gallon of parfait without trouble. Perception is powerful.
I'm looking forward to a year of altering perceptions.
Place In My Head
4 years ago
4 comments:
Oh my goodness do I relate to relatively thinner people talking about being fat when they are near me. Perception but also makes me a non-entity.
Oh that comment was from Peanut at CK
it is unfortunate, but people are inherently selfish. when they're complaining about needing to lose 5, 10, 15 etc pounds next to you, they aren't thinking about how you'll take it. or about you at all.
it is a very interesting topic, though. i guess a moral of the story is to think about your audience before you start the flapping of the lips.
i am proud of you for your progress, though. you're adorable in your snuggie, too. it's the same color as my slanket!
I just read an article today about people who are obsessed with breastfeeding to lose weight -- some, so much so that they will pump even if they have no intention of feeding the baby. W.T.F. Now, if you know nothing about nursing, it is cooonnnnnnstant. You don't need to pump/breastfeed! Go to the gym for 20 minutes 10 times a day. Geez.
It's the idea of "easy skinniness" that gets people.
I don't have a lot to lose. I mean, I do, but I don't. (And you know how I feel about scalloped potato thighs.) I am down to 30-40 pounds that I need to lose, which isn't that much. I have lost 18 pounds. But I lose it 1 pound at a time. Maybe one pound a week. IF I'm lucky. That is with no real soda, no twinkies and garbage, no exorbitant carb fests, and at least 2-3 intense exercise sessions a week.
Not that I'm defending the illegitimate-fattie-complainers, but I think sometimes it's that frustration of not "I'm this fat" but the frustration of "It is going to take me 6 months to lose these 10 pounds, damn it" that possesses people to whine.
As far as perception. My crappy dinner plates that I bought 11 years ago are the size of Alaska. If I filled one of them up with food and sent it to Haiti, everything would be fine. I know they are massive. But that doesn't stop me from completely loading it with spaghetti, twice. Perception.
Post a Comment